god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
