Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
