hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
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