it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she peed on how many people?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
