She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
