omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
