Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
