Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
