Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we made out on top of his cat.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
