You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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