Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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