I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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