Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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