Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
