Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
