you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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