I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
