I want to have your abortion
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
