So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
