Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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