my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize