I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
