You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
