can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
