He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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