i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
