Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
