We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
