A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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