But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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