found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
