I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
