Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
