lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i permit you to call me
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
