So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
