she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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