Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
