He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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