What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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