Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
