I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
