i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
