you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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