woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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