I hate all girls vehemently.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he fucked my hip out of place.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
