he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
