If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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