I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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