I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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