So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
