Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
