Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
