There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
