there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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