my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
