Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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