I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
