I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
