I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I am midnight drunk by noon
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
