you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
