worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
